Social anxiety is more than just nervousness—it can feel like a wall that separates you from others. Whether it’s a casual conversation, a group gathering, or a presentation, the fear of being judged or saying the wrong thing can be overwhelming.
This anxiety often doesn’t come from the event itself, but from how the brain imagines it going wrong. That’s where Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can help. NLP is a set of tools that works with your thoughts, beliefs, and inner experiences to help you respond differently to social situations.
Here are seven simple and effective ways NLP can support someone dealing with social anxiety.
Be Practical, Don’t Just Ask
When someone is grieving, they often don’t know what they need. That’s why asking “What can I do for you?” may not help much. Instead, offer something specific. Say things like:
- “I’m dropping off dinner tonight.”
- “I’ll take the kids to school tomorrow.”
- “I picked up some groceries for you.”
Even simple help with daily tasks can give them breathing space. Be the one who notices what needs to be done and does it without waiting to be asked.
Reach Out, Even If You’re Not Sure How
Sometimes a grieving person wants time alone—but they don’t want to feel forgotten. Don’t wait for them to call. Send a simple message, like:
- “Thinking of you today.”
- “No need to reply—I just wanted you to know I’m here.”
- “Would you like to go for a walk sometime?”
Make it easy for them to say yes or no without pressure. Just knowing someone is there can be comforting, even if they don’t respond right away.
Avoid Clichés, Speak From the Heart
Phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Time heals all wounds” can feel empty to someone in deep pain. Instead, be honest and gentle. Say:
- “I don’t know what to say, but I care.”
- “This must be so hard. I’m here.”
Let your words be real and heartfelt. You don’t have to fix their pain—just be present in it.
Keep Their Loved One’s Memory Alive
One of the kindest things anyone can do is say the name of the person who passed. Share memories, mention special moments, or simply ask about them.
Grieving people often fear that others will forget their loved one. Help keep their memory alive. You can say:
- “I remember the time we all laughed so much at that party.”
- “He always had the kindest smile.”
Make space for the memories, not just the silence.
Avoid Comparisons, Respect Their Unique Journey
Everyone’s grief is personal. Please avoid saying things like “I know exactly how you feel.” Even if you’ve lost someone too, their loss is not the same.
Let them grieve their own way. Just saying “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you” shows deep respect and empathy.
Listen Without Trying to Fix It
There will be moments when they just need to talk, cry, or even sit in silence. Be a calm and caring presence. You don’t need to give advice or offer solutions.
Practice quiet listening. Let them feel what they feel, without judgment or interruption. Sometimes, just being there is the most healing thing you can do.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re supporting someone who is grieving, remember: your small acts of kindness mean more than you know. A message, a warm meal, a quiet walk, or simply listening can help more than words ever could.
Keep showing up. Keep checking in. Let them feel held, not hurried.
